I Want Him He Doesn't KnowYet
by vamp-gal-27
Summary: Sam and Dean have just gotten back from a hunt. Dean's pissed at Sam because he got distracted, leaving Dean open to attack. What happens when Sam tries to help aid Dean's wounds and lets slip a deep, hidden secret he's been keeping for years?


**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything or anyone from Supernatural, thought I'd love to. :P

**Summary: **Sam and Dean have just gotten back from a hunt. Dean's pissed at Sam because he got distracted, leaving Dean open to attack. What happens when Sam tries to help aid Dean's wounds and lets slip a deep, hidden secret he's been keeping for years?

**Rated:** M for Mature.

**Warnings: **Sex, alcohol, language.

* * *

Sitting in the Impala after a hunt, Sam can't help but feel bad for letting his brother get hurt. He couldn't help it. He was so focused on freeing the victims that he left Dean wide open to the demons. Now Dean has multiple deep gashes in this chest and arms and is unable to drive.

"I should have walked! How can you leave me defenseless like that Sam? You know better!" Dean says from the passenger seat of his car.

Sam stays quiet. He's tried apologizing but that only seemed to make Dean madder. Sam shifts in his seat, feeling his brother's glare on the side of his face.

"Sam, you should have had my fucking back! I know you want to save everyone but what good is it if you let me get killed in the process?" Dean yells, only thinking of himself, as always.

"I had to save them, Dean. I wasn't going to let them die!" Sam whispers, wishing they could get to the hotel faster.

"Oh, and letting me die is better then letting them die? I'm family damn it! I'm more important then some damn strangers!" Dean huffs and settles into the seat, wincing at the pressure.

Sam says nothing else, putting more pressure on the gas petal. _''Only a few more miles to the hotel, then he will get drunk and pass out.'' _Sam thinks to himself.

When they pull into the hotel's parking lot, Sam gets out and grabs their duffel bags from the back seat. He goes up to the door of their room and unlocks it just in time for Dean to start more bitching. Sam rolls his eyes and throws their stuff down by the door, taking out their first-aid kit. Before he can tell Dean to take his shirt off so he can mend his wounds, Dean's already into the shower.

"Fuck, that burns! " He hears Dean hiss as the spray of hot water hits his open cuts.

"You should have let me stitch you up before you got in there." Sam says through the bathroom door.

"You're not fucking touching me. It's your fault that I'm like this, damn it." Dean replies.

Sam just sighs and sits on his bed, waiting for Dean to get out of the shower. He knows he shouldn't have left Dean to fend for himself, but could he really let those poor people suffer longer? He thought Dean could handle himself for five minutes but, he was wrong. He let the only person he cares about get hurt. He almost let his brother get killed tonight because he was too caring about people he didn't even know.

_"Maybe Dean's right.' _Sam thought. '_Maybe I should have waited until I knew the demons were dead. But then those people would have died. We would have went for nothing.''_

Sam stopped thinking these things as he hears Dean shut the shower off and step into the chilly hotel room with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Sit down so I can stitch you up." Sam says quietly, expecting his brother to argue.

"Grab me the bottle of Jack from my bag first. I know this shit is going to hurt like a bitch." Dean says, sliding a pair of clean boxers on under his towel before sitting on Sam's bed.

Sam hands Dean the bottle before he takes out a new needle and stitching thread. Then he hands Dean his belt, telling him to bit down on it as he pours rubbing alcohol over the gashes and cuts.

"Holy mother of CRAP!" Dean bites out while griping the leather belt between his clenched teeth.

"Sorry." Sam whispers as he starts stitching the cuts that are still bleeding. "And I'm sorry for leaving you by yourself back there. I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to get those people out of harm's way." He says not meeting his brother's eyes.

"Yea, well, kill the bastard demons first, next time, yeah? I shouldn't have yelled at you so much. I know that being a geek means that you're too damn caring for your own good." Dean says bitterly, taking a swig from the bottle in this tight grasp.

Dean lets out a sound that's a cross between a hiss and a whimper and though Sam knows it shouldn't, it turns him on a little bit. Trying not to show it on his face he bites the inside of his cheek as he finishes closing the wounds on Dean's chest.

"Um, turn around so I can get to your back." Sam says, again, not meeting his brother's eyes.

"Just sit behind me on the bed. I don't feel like moving." Dean replies, taking another swig from the bottle.

"Jerk" Sam whispers, doing as he's told.

"Bitch." Dean reciprocates, a small smile playing on his lips.

'_I wish you'd make me your bitch.'' _Sam thinks to himself, not realizing he had actually whispered it out loud.

"What?" Dean asks, not sure of what he heard.

"What, what?" Sam asks, still clueless to what he had said.

"Did you just say, 'I wish you'd make me your bitch'?" Dean asks, torn between being freaked out and amused.

"No...I...I didn't mean...I...uh...?" Sam stutters as he slinks away from his brother.

Dean turns to look at him, questions in his eyes as he looks at his little brother. Sam, however, can't bring himself to say anything in his defense, or to meet his brother's curious gaze.

"Sammy?" Dean asks, his tone harsh, confused.

"I didn't mean to say it.. Not out loud." He whispers standing up and grabbing his jacket. "I...I have to...go."

"Sam!" Dean yells as he gets up and follows Sam, putting himself between Sam and the hotel door. "What's going on in that head of yours?" Dean asks, arms over his chest.

"Nothing. Just, let me leave." Sam says looking up at his brother for the first time since they got into the car after the hunt.

"Sam, tell me, please?" Dean asks, his voice softer this time, dropping his arms to his side.

"I...can't." He whispers his response, fighting the tears that are threatening to fall from his eyes.

"Sammy, what ever it is, you can tell me. Please?" Dean says stepping closer to Sam.

"You'll hate me if I tell you." Sam says looking back down at his feet.

"I could never hate you Sam. You should know that. You're my baby brother." Dean says, taking yet another step towards Sam.

"Exactly. You're my brother! That's why I can't tell you. That's why I shouldn't feel this way! That's why you need to let me leave." Sam says, anger lacing his voice, though whether it be at his brother for blocking the door or at himself, he's not sure.

"Feel what way? Sam, tell me, damn it!" As Dean says this he places a reassuring hand on Sam's shoulder.

Sam shakes it off and turns around, walking over and standing in front of the window.

"God damn it Sam! Just fucking tell me!" Dean says making Sam face him.

Without thought, Sam leans in and presses his lips to Dean's, only briefly, before puling back with wide eyes. They stand there, silent, staring at each other for what felt like a life time but was really only about a minute.

"Sam...?" Dean asks, confused, hesitant.

"I'm...I...I'm sorry." Sam says as the tears finally break free.

Dean steps forward, his chest almost touching Sam's. When Sam tries to back away, Dean grabs his shoulders, holding him in place. Meeting Sam's eyes, he can see how much pain is hidden the eyes of his brother's 6'4" muscular body.

"Dean...I can't." Sam whispers, fear seeping out into his voice.

"Yes, you can. It's okay." He replies, letting his thumb stroke small circles into Sam's shoulder.

"It's not normal. Me feeling this way. You're my brother, Dean. It's not right." Sam says, dropping his gaze to the floor.

"What about our lives is normal, Sammy? And what exactly are you feeling right now?" Dean asks, moving his hands from Sam's shoulders to his biceps.

"I...I think...Dean...I..." Sam's not sure how to phrase what he feels without his brother hating him.

"Spit it out, Sammy." Dean says, his voice stern, demanding, pleading.

"I love you." Sam finally says, meeting his brother's hazel/green eyes.

"And what do you want right now?" When he sees that Sam's going to protest he adds, "And don't think about if it's right or wrong. Just tell me. What do you want, right now?" He asks again.

"You." He states simply.

Dean lets a small smile take to his lips as he leans in and captures Sam's lips in a small, soft kiss. Pulling way Dean looks up at Sam, silently asking if he can do more. Sam, though shaking slightly, nods.

Allowing his hands to lay on Sam's chest, Dean kisses his brother, this time deeper, and more passionate. Needy and pleading. Sam, hesitant, places a hand on Dean's neck, the other hand going to his waist. Slipping his tongue out to trace Sam's bottom lip, he smiles when Sam parts his lips, just enough for Dean to slide his tongue in, over Sam's. Backing Sam up, over towards the bed, Dean pulls at the hem of his shirt. Sam lifts his hands to let Dean pull his shirt over his head before connecting their lips again.

"Dean, please." Sam whispers against his lips, pleading for more.

Dean slides his hands down Sam's chest, over his hips, and to the front of his jeans. Slowly, Dean unbuttons them, then pulls the zipper down. Pushing the pants to the floor, they're both stand there wearing only boxers, as their bodies press into one another. Pushing Sam down onto the bed, Dean leans over him, kissing from his lips over his cheek, down his jaw and onto his neck. Nibbling on his skin, Dean feels Sam's breath catch before letting out a soft moan. Dean takes this as a sign to do more, so he bites harder, sucking and kissing over the bite mark.

"Uh, Dean..._please!_" Sam begs as his fingers dig into Dean's shoulders.

Dean smiles against Sam's neck, moving to tease the other side as his hand moves across Sam's chest, fingers grazing over his nipple. Sam bucks into Dean, cause them both to moan as their erections find friction against the others'. Dean kisses down Sam's neck, to his chest, ghosting his lips over all of Sam's scars. Slowly Dean makes his way to Sam's boxers, pulling them down and nibbling on the skin of Sam's hips. Dean looks up at Sam's face and nearly explodes by the expression of pure pleasure on his brother's face. Experimentally, since Dean's never been with a guy before, he kisses the tip of Sam's cock.

"God...please Dean...please." Sam moans, trying not to buck his hips.

Dean sighs as he looks at the large, throbbing member in front of him, and before he can talk himself out of this, he leans down and licks the slit, tasting the precum gathered there. He finds that he actually likes the taste and wraps his lips around the head of the cock. Hollowing out his cheeks, he slides his mouth down lower on the member, glad he can control his gag reflexes. Hearing Sam panting and moaning encourages Dean as he starts to slowly bob his head up and down, swirling his tongue around the tip.

"Dean, god...please...stop...I'm gonna...please..." Sam says, trying to tell him that he wants more then just a blow job.

Dean slides back up his brother's body, kissing Sam's lips as Sam pushes Dean's boxers off. Grinding against Sam's erection makes Dean moan louder then he should, earning a light chuckle from Sam. Dean playfully growls as he bites Sam's bottom lip, rubbing his erection against Sam's hole, earning a moan from Sam.

"Dean...drawer...lube...now." Sam pants, fisting the sheets below him.

"You sure?" Dean asks, breath raspy and uneven.

Sam nods and bucks up into Dean for emphases. Dean reaches over and grabs the bottle of Astro Glide from the nightstand and squeezes some onto his fingers. After making sure his fingers are wet enough as slowly rubs Sam's entrance, making him moan. He slowly pushes one in, earning a whimper and hiss of pain from the taller man beneath him.

"Shh, Sammy, it's okay. Relax, baby. It'll feel good soon." Dean whispers in his ear as he peppers Sam's face and neck with light kisses.

When he feels that Sam has adjusted, he adds a second finger, again telling Sam to relax. Probing his fingers in and out and scissoring them to stretch Sam's hole, he adds a third. Sam tenses at the extra digit and bites back a tear trying to roll down his face. When Dean feels Sam start to rock against his fingers a few minutes later, Dean pushes them in and out faster.

"Dean! Please, I need...please...I need to feel you...in me." Sam moans, then whimpers at the loss of his brother's fingers.

Adding some lube to his erection, Dean lines himself up with Sam. Before pushing in, he kisses Sam deeply, sucking on his tongue to distract him as he pushes the head of his cock forward through the ring of muscles.

"God, fucking, damn it, Sammy. You're so...tight." Dean moans as he resists the urge to thrust all the way in in one simple move.

As soon as he's buried all the way in Sam's hole he waits, allowing Sam to adjust to his size and the intrusion.

"Dean, move." Sam says, pushing down against Dean's body.

Pulling out and slowly pushing back in, Sam arches against his body, letting out a low groan. Sam leans up and bites Dean's neck rather hard to muffle a loud moan. Hissing at this causes Dean to pick up his pace a little bit. When Sam starts moaning more he goes a bit faster.

"GOD! Harder Dean. Harder!" Sam moans out, loudly, as the headboard of Dean's bed starts to hit against the wall.

Dean obeys and pushes in harder, faster, deeper, hitting Sam's sweet spot a few times. Dean feels Sam's fingers digging into his shoulders, being careful to avoid the still open gash on his back.

"Sammy, god, so good." Dean moans as he turns his head to bite Sam's forearm.

"Dean...more...so...close..." Sam says, his sentence broken, breath ragged, heavy, and shallow.

Dean starts pounding harder, leaning closer to Sam's body to get in deeper. This new angle drives Sam crazy, as his head tosses form side to side, back arching. Dean knows he's as close to his climax as Sam is so he starts sucking on Sam's neck.

"Touch yourself Sammy." Dean whispers against his neck, not wanting to finish before his little brother.

Sam does as he's told, stroking his too hard cock in time with Dean's thrusts. Dean can tell Sam's ready to explode at any second so he pumps faster, hitting Sam's sweet spot over and over and over again until Sam's moaning so much that he can't understand what he's trying to say.

"DEAN!" Sam yells as his orgasm hits him, his seed spilling all over his and Dean's chests.

Feeling Sam's hole tighten around his cock as he cums only causes Dean to fall over that edge of pure pleasure, filling Sam up before collapsing next to Sam on the too small bed.

Waiting for their breaths to come back to them, Sam pulls Dean into his side, kissing him lightly on the lips before looking up at the ceiling. After laying there for a few minutes, not moving, not talking, just laying there, their breath finally returns to normal.

Dean gets up and walks to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth and running it under warm water. After cleaning himself up he rinses the material out and walks out to Sam and gently cleans Sam up too. Throwing the washcloth into the bathroom sink, Dean helps Sam get his boxers back on before pulling his own on and laying next to Sam.

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?" Sam asks, running his fingers over the scratch marks he left on Dean's shoulders.

"I'm fine. What about you? Are you okay?" Dean asks, real worry lacing his tone as he rolls onto his side to look at Sam.

"I'm great, actually." Sam says, thought he doesn't smile.

"What's wrong?" Dean asks, kissing his brother's lips softly.

"It's jut that...well...I told you I love you. Then we had really amazing sex. I just...don't know...what this means. For us, I mean. Do we act like it never happened? Do we make a habit out of it? Or what?" Sam asks, not really expecting an answer.

"Sammy, look at me." Dean says, rubbing his thumb against Sam's cheek. "I love you too." When Sam huffs and looks away, Dean leans over him, catching his lips in a chaste kiss. "I do and I have. I was always afraid your Sasquatch ass was going to beat me to death." Sam chuckles at this.

"I wouldn't have beaten you to death. Even if I didn't feel this way, I still wouldn't." Sam says pressing his lips to Dean.

"Sammy, this is a total chick-flick moment and you know I hate those..but...be my boyfriend?" He asks, hesitant.

"You mean it?" Sam asks, stunned.

"Yes. I love you." Dean says, hating himself for sounding like a girl.

"Yes." Sam says kissing his brother and new boyfriend one last time before falling asleep.

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End. Please, comments.


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